"Have a good one, Big Guy."

So, lately, people have been calling me "Big Guy". I didn't really think anything of it until I heard it the fourth time at the health food store I was buying a salad at.

Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking... "So? What's the big deal? "Big Guy". People say it all the time."

And that's fine to think that... especially when you're tall. Being tall and hearing "Big Guy" is like saying: "Have a good day, sir." When you're a male. It's just how it goes. But when you are, um, vertically challenged, "Big Guy", has a different meaning.

Now, I'm not that short. If you've met me, you'd agree. But I'm not tall either. I'm five foot seven. I really have never been sensitive about this either... until someone actually called me short while in line at a concert. The dude that called me short was a jerk and isn't worth the story, but when I realized that five foot seven isn't really that common for most Midwestern guys, I started thinking... is that what everyone thinks.

Plus, "Big Guy" is like a phrase you use for a little kid that did something really cute and is proud of it and wants to be talked to like he's all special and stuff. You know, "Good job eating all your peas, Big Guy!" or "Wow! You finger painted that all by yourself? Good going Big Guy!" but when you are paying for salad or getting a latte or holding a door open for someone or even returning a t-shirt... you are not really doing anything deserving a "Way to go, Big Guy!" kind of compliment. So, that sort of "Big Guy" doesn't work.

What I'm saying is, well, I've just noticed people calling me "Big Guy" lately and I just wanted to know--since I don't have cable--if that is a phrase that is being commonly used on some new hit show. Like, "Boo" or "My Bitch" or "Maam" or "Lova".

Or if I should just assume I'm getting a belly and that's the sort of "Big" they are relating to. Because if that's it, then you know, we don't need to be talking about the fact that people have been calling me "Big Guy" and we can pretend that this has never existed. Cool. Yup. Totally.