Because while making these:

I was listening to my ipod. Here's the thing about my ipod... we don't tend to think alike. So, there is theory people have that your ipod can sort of sense what you are feeling. Then, when you hit shuffle, the ipod takes you on an emotional journey while holding your hand--like a lovely uplifting encouragement card at Hallmark--and you bond on the fact that a computer generated playlist is as if you were creating it in your very own at that moment.

My ipod and I don't have that.

See, my ipod is cool. It works. It does it's job. But we aren't friends. We never have been. I think I got one without a heart. If I'm sad it plays the wrong music--something usually really rough and aggressive--punk rock almost. If I'm really excited and ready to take on the world... it plays something like Snow Patrol that, while great, is just not right for a moment when you are taking on the world. Taking on world music is something like Janet Jackson's "Control" or Journey's "Don't Stop Believing".

I've given my ipod many chances to spoon me in its music choices. Seriously, man, I've played it on shuffle while at the gym... Damien Rice comes on. Who works out to slit -your-neck music? Or, when I am on the crowded el and this guy that has breath that reeks of Dorritos... that he at three months ago... you need positive music. You know, something jumpy and beat driven that will say to you: "You'll survive this moment, I'll get you through this!" And my ipod should race through the thousands of songs I have and play something that will keep me not passing out. Nope. Tori Amos.

I've given up. "Yo, ipod, you win. I'll do my own DJ-ing." I've thought while letting it shuffle while I'm in the shower and only hearing Christmas music... in the middle of June. And we've been fine since. I have no expectations out of it and it has no expectations out of me. Like a dried up marriage, I'm happy with it... but the oh-my-god-can-we-please-have-a-spontaneous-moment-of-brilliant-ear-sex-with
-music-you-have-chosen-and-I-don't-have-to-create-myself moments in a really long time.

But then today. I wasn't in to the mood to pick any artist in particular. So, I said:

"OK, ipod. I'm not in the mood to deal. So, screw me over with your selfish choices of tunes and I will make my Valentine's to whatever you have in mind."

And then it happened. It was as if everything I've ever known about my ipod had been something I made up. My ipod played... really good Valentine/Love songs while I cut and pasted and drew my cards.

Really! I'm not joking here. It's as if the ipod finally got it. If we want to really enjoy ourselves together... we have to work together. We have to prove to each other that we believe. Ipod realized that Valentine's Day is my favorite holiday... and what better time to prove its love for me.

The list it played:
"I Believe In A Thing Called Love" The Darkness
"Constant Craving" K.D. Lang
"Magic Moments" Perry Como
"Something About Us" Daft Punk
"On Your Side" Pete Yorn
"Love Hangover" Diana Ross
"This Woman's Worth" Maxwell
"If I Can't Have You" Zero 7
"Love Me, But Leave Me Alone" Jewel

I know! I am not shitting you! It played in that order with no control on my part at all. The first two songs played and I laughed a little. I thought I was getting my leg pulled... then the third... the sixth... and then it was the last and I was flipping my shit out. I was doing it! I was at one with my ipod. This mythical experience I only thought was a Apple ploy to get people to want to be in love with ipods was true.

It was amazing.

The cold is making me lose my mind.
Just humor me.