Ask me where I will be tonight at 12:01 a.m.

I hear some of you saying: "BED!" Wait, back there in the cheap seats: "At the bar!"

Nope. Nope.

I. Will. Be. Here.

I'm in a magazine. So are a lot of other cool people. Did I mentioned I designed the magazine too? Yeah. You should come to the launch party of this magazine. It's tonight.You should be there. You should find out where and here.

I needed to sit on this. I really needed to sit on this. And then, last night, I had a dream that I told Ellen Degeneres "Congrats on nailing the hot wife." In which Ellen winked back at me and said:"Thanks, I KNOW!" Which finally made me get to this:

A few weeks ago, we all found out that homosexuals could be married... in California. This is awesome.

"Isn't it great! You can go to California and get married!" My optimistic friend says to me as I bite in my salad at lunch.
"Uh huh." I say swallowing a mouth full.
"You don't seem excited... how come?"

Hold it.

I am excited. I'm happy. Dude. I was all about this issue, California passing the legalization of gay marriage, months ago when my friend Megan and Lott introduced me to this website. You can even find something that I wrote for it posted. The idea that a state was lobbying so hard to get this to happen made me giggle in absolute pride. Woah, people are working to make this happen! And when it happened and I caught the first headlines on CNN.com and then on BBC.com... I actually teared up a bit. A state so big with so many people working to make it happen did it... they got what they worked for. Seriously we have an African American and woman president running and we pass legal marriage in 2008.

Un-hold it.

Then, the last thing, "We have an African American and woman president running and we pass legal marriage in 2008!" YIPEEEE!!! This bothered me.

Why is it taking so long? Why is it 2008 and we are FINALLY getting here.

Hold it, again.

I'm not interested in the whole political conversation. I have had them. I know them. I understand them. I'm talking about why this is taking so long to process. It's sort of like downloads. You know how when you have a bad connection to the internet, it takes forever to get a giant file to download on your computer? Usually it's just because we have old versions of programs trying to process new information. Sometimes it's just too much information to process and you need to turn off the computer and restart so there is a fresh approach to the issue.

Do we need to reboot?

Unhold it... again.

I explain to my friend, the one I'm eating a salad with, why I am not "so" excited about all this.

"I still have to leave my city to get married. I still have to go to another state in my country to do something that everyone else gets to do at a court house or in the backyard of their parent's farm. I have to get on a plane and go somewhere else..."

She nods. Because she gets it. Lots of people get it. Many people get it.
And then there are many others people that just. don't. get it.

I am happy and proud and appreciate the work that went in to making this happen. Please, understand that. But, it just blows my mind that it is 2008 and we are just now getting excited about these things, you know, black or women presidents or two same sex people can have legal rights like anyone else. Shouldn't we have gotten excited about those things a long time ago? Why is all this taking so long to process?

Shouldn't we be getting excited about other great things like the possibility of flying cars and iphones that don't freeze and chips in our fingers that let us not have to carry bulky house keys in our pockets and robots that fold our laundry. You know, cool technology making our lives easier or faster so we can enjoy the important things in life... like being with the people we love.

But it seems like unlike technology, are brains aren't evolving fast enough. Versions of our own programs aren't developing as quickly... some people just aren't upgrading.

So people have been asking me: "What do you do that makes you so busy?"

I tell about things like 2nd Story or designing a clients new logo or writing my new piece for UR Chicago or watching, obsessively, Sex and the City previews. But one of the best things I get to do with my time is be a faux parent or a "manny" if you will.

Caleb is Megan's and Christopher's new baby. Once a week I get to come over for a bit and hang out while Megan has to go teach. We talk and philosophize and we even watch America's Next Top Model(in which Caleb totally agrees that Tyra's poses are tired).

In an effort to be more like Josh, I created a video blog of an average time with Caleb. Now, I'm no Michel Gondry when it comes to editing, but dude, I at least tried. No one can be like Josh. No one.

Untitled from Byron Flitsch on Vimeo.

See, I'm the type of guy that shakes presents to see what's inside. I'm the type of guy that peeks when people say "don't peek!" and I'm the type of guy that would post clips of the Sex and the City movie he found on the internet for those who are the type of guy or girl or gay like me.

Don't watch this if you don't want to see anything.

Dude. We just saw Johnny Depp. He was wearing a robe.

Still jealous much?

As we speak there is a movie being shot right across from me.

Kiddy corner from the building I'm in, people are walking in to a store front looking all 2008 and then coming out looking all 1920. Teenage girls are waiting around a chain linked fence flipping their hair as if they are getting ready for first dates. Cops are pushing people away from the fence looking like they are starting fights. People are on cell phones and pacing. Trailers doors are opening and closing and with ever slam of their doors the teenage hair flipping girls squeal: "Is it HIM!?"

The "him" is Johnny Depp.

Jealous much?

I'm not quite sure if it's the song or the beauty of the animation or if it is the fact that if we don't do something it will all go away... but every time I watching this my stomach drops.

3650 MTV Global Warming from Justin Gedzus on Vimeo.

I remember this so well. It was fifth grade and I was coloring a giant cartoon earth with green and blue Crayola markers. Our teacher, Mrs. Fruedenwald, made us save certain parts of all the countries.

"Don't color those green... save some of the continents... I'll tell you what to do later!"

It felt weird only coloring parts of the U.S., Florida and Georgia and only Italy and parts of Brazil and a little bit of Antarctica.

"OK. Now take a brown marker." We all looked nervously at each other as if she asked to say "Shit" in front of our parents. "Color in the rest."

And when we were all done our Earths looked nothing like Encyclopedias or globes. They looked... dirty.

"In 2010, if we don't learn how to take care of our Earth we will look like this... or worse."

It seemed so far away when you are ten.

So 2nd Story and I are like this(right now, take your fingers and cross them). We're tight. I mean real tight. And in that comes meeting really great people that you get to become tight with too. Once a month, as someone who helps "teach" people to write for 2nd Story, I get to have three people come to my house and sip wine or drink water and listen to the stories people are working on to perform. We give pep talks and suggestions and it's almost as good as therapy. It's great. It's Oprah sans the whole "I'm GOD" deal. Love you Oprah, just playing.

Anyway, last night was my last meeting with the group I have been working on since January. This was hard because a) you get so attached to your group before you have to switch them out for new people to join and b)because I got a slap in the face.

The writing, yes, the writing is amazing. These people can write... but it's the stories. The stories! OK. I'm going to give you a quick recap of what the three people are writing about:

1) Her mother died when she was young and out of nowhere her little niece is like, "Who's this...?" and points to the mom's picture... because she never met her and everyone realizes the force of death.

2) A hero of mine is a parent of a brilliant five year old and tells the story about how she never wanted to be a parent and when she adopted this amazing little girl she realizes she has a much bigger purpose in the world.

3) An adorable middle age woman tells the tale of making out with Jim Morrison after he just puked.

Yah, I know. Shit.

What am I getting at here? Well, after these people left I started to think about my stories... and about my life. And panicked thinking about this: Am I boring?

I mean, stories one and two and three are insane. They are amazing. Mothers and parents and kissing a rockstar. I'm none of that! I've only made out with guys who are mediocre bands that usually break-apart after a month of playing at lame-name venues. And I'm not a dad... I mean, I babysit the cutest baby in the world... but I'm no dad.

PAUSE.

So, I know what you're thinking. You thinking this: Byron, shut the "f" up. You're not boring...
OK maybe it's not about the boring... it's about the things we remember and the things we want to share with others. See, I'm getting older(Stop it. I am... and I am realizing that my memory at twenty-five is not what it was at sixteen) and I only imagine as I get older the stories that I am going to want to tell are going to get a little cloudy and the details a little shifty and the nuances a little hazy. And in that moment I realized why I am a writer. Not just to tell stories but to document experiences and to share them with others so they can remember their experiences and document them and then we have about bunch of documented experiences that people can look back on while they are talking to holograms and flying in cars and say: Wow, people were awesome back then even if they didn't have flying cars.

So maybe I'm not boring, I just need to share the stories I keep tucked away. And it's kind of cool to figure out why you love doing what you do.

And screw it, I may not have made out with Jim Morrison, but how many people do you know have served martinis with Drag Queens lip-syncing Beyonce behind them? Yup. No so boring.

Josh and I are sitting outside at a coffee shop patio. We have our computers and have our feet up on chairs basking in the sun.

As we do this cars on the street next to us zip by and slow down at the Stop sign to merge on to upcoming traffic. These people have their car windows open. These people are listening to music as they drive.I can hear just pieces of each song as they turn... it's like a remix. This is awesome.

Car 1: Red Toyota Corolla, Older woman with large sunglasses playing Roxette, "Dangerous"
Car 2: White Honda Civic, Younger guy with backwards hat playing JZ, "Big Pimp'n"
Car 3: Green Honda Element, Young guy in mid twenties playing Britney Spears, "Gimme More"
Car 4: Black Mercedes, Older guy wearing a visor playing Frank Sinatra, "My Way"

And some how, it's the last song "My Way" that makes me see how fricken lucky I am that I get to spend a Tuesday or a Wednesday or a Thursday or a Friday doing something like sitting outside writing on my laptop in the best city in the country on a beautiful day as my job. This is why I am not 9-5.

I have this friend that is a gay rapper. Johnny Dangerous. Know him. He's brilliant. I'm not just saying "Holy cow he's so great because he's gay and he raps and he is a friend" kind of brilliant. No. I'm saying: "The man is one of the hardest and devoted workers devoted to his love of rapping" kind of brilliant. Plus, it has paid off and now he is been on Logo's Top Ten Music Videos for the last month or so.

So, it's an honor to even say that I have gotten to be a part of his latest single/video situation. I even make out with a girl. Sort of:

My mom is proud. I know.

But the best part about this guy is that he reminds me about stereotypes. When I was a kid, man, let me tell you what an adult gay man was supposed to be like when he was older. On second hand, just let me give you a list of examples I had only seen in movies and television:
The Bird Cage
Richard Simmons
Jack Mcfarland
Bert and Ernie

OK, the last one... it's a stretch. But for a kid growing up in the 90's having an "'mo-dol"(you know, a homosexual idol) wasn't really as popular as it is today. And so when I was young and knew I was going to get old, I thought: "Shit, I'm going to be a squealing girly-girl who wears tight jeans and will constantly be the butt of really REALLY bad jokes."

I absolutely totally thought this.
But, man I was wrong. Because now there is a list. There is an entire list of famous gay people that young and old can identify with... and know that they aren't going to have to be hairdressers or make-up artists or butt of bad sitcom jokes. No. We get to be ANYTHING WE WANT like gay rappers and senators and doctors and people that people can't make fun of at all because we are great. And if I was fourteen again, this list would remind me that the stereotypes are as dumb as the people that create them. So, if you are a random gay teenager that stumbles here(sorry about all the swearing) and thinks they've got nothing to look up to... check out this list. Seriously. Then, compare it to mine.

Because look at this. Look. At. This. List:

• Jonathan Adler
• Chad Allen
• Jonathon Allen
• Eric Alva, Marine Staff Sgt.
• John Amaechi
• Alexis Arquette
• Jensen Atwood (supporter)
• Jason Bartlett
• Lance Bass
• Brian L. Bates
• Billy Bean
• Nate Berkus
• Steven Blank
• Keith Boykin
• Derren Brown
• Karamo Brown
• Lady Bunny
• Charles Busch
• Anthony Callea
• Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio
• Christian Chavez
• Devon Christopher
• Paul Colichman
• William "Bill" Condon
• Wilson Cruz
• Ray Cunningham
• Alan Cumming
• Leonardo da Vinci
• Christine Daniels (formerly Mike Penner)
• Lee Daniels | pics
• Charlie David
• Herndon Davis
• Deadlee | pics
• Guillermo Diaz
• Dolce & Gabbana
• Rupert Everett
• Siegfried Fischbacher
• Mark Feehily
• Barney Frank
• Gary Gates
• Stephen Gately
• Boy George
• Ari Gold
• Mitchell Gold
• Brian Graden
• Glen Hanson
• E Lynn Harris
• Neil Patrick Harris
• Richard Hatch
• Roy Horn
• Maurice Jamal
• Michael Jensen
• T R Knight
• Jim Kolbe
• Carson Kressley
• Nathan Lane
• Reichen Lehmkuhl
• Abraham Lincoln (debate)
• Jeff Lutes
• Kevin McDaid
• James (Jim) McGreevey
• Ian McKellen
• George Michael
• Harvey Milk
• Freddie Mercury
• Benny Ninja
• Willi Ninja
• Daniel J O' Donnell
• Peter Paige
• Sunil Babu Pant
• Miss Coco Peru
• Cole Porter
• Christopher Rice
• Bishop V Gene Robinson
• James Roy
• Bayard Rustin
• Paul Schindler
• William Scott
• Carey Sherrell
• Carl Siciliano
• Oliver Sipple
• Doug Spearman
• Darryl Stephens
• Billy Strayhorn
• Gerry Studds
• Gloria Trevi
• Jorge Valencia
• Rufus Wainwright
• Jackie Walker
• Biff Warren
• John Waters
• Emil Wilbekin
• BD Wong
• Emanuel Xavier
• Pedro Zamora
• Cyd Zeigler
• Didier Zheng

Megan. You know her? No? Then what are you waiting for. Seriously. Anyway, Megan is awesome. I adore her and she inspires me. She knows this. This isn't news. But she recently inspired me with one of her blogs. Here: This is the inspiring blog that Byron is talking about.

We are both in 2nd Story. We both perform and write and work with awesome directors and music-geniuses(I hyphened that because, um, they are totally both at the same time). And when it comes to telling stories about your life and setting them to music you start to really ask yourself: "What music is the right music."

And we do this all the time. When we are getting married and need that perfect song as a couple. When we are first dating and need that popular song we both adore so we can think of each other wherever we are when we hear it(or, ahem, when we break-up and then cry every time you hear it in the frozen food section at the grocery store in "Muzak" form). We do it when we lose someone close to us. We do it when we are furious and need to blow steam. We pick music to live our lives right.

Now, when you are doing this while telling a story--setting scenes of your actual experiences in life-- you want to make them rock and usually our music-geniuses do this... but sometimes they ask YOU what you think is the perfect song.

For most people, they may not really care. But I'm slightly obsessive compulsive control freak(hey, what can I say... I'm the oldest) and so I really take time to figure these things out.

And because, well, I thought you might be interested, I have compiled a collection of periods in my life where--if I were a biographic movie--these songs would be played. I know. I know... what's worse is I am doing this on a Saturday night. I know.

Sixteen years ago when I discovered "I think I'm a little different..." but had to pretend I knew nothing...

Eleven years ago when I fell in love for the very first time:
This song.

Eleven years ago and one month when I felt my first broken heart:
This song.

Six years ago when I moved from Wisconsin to Chicago:

Four years ago when I lost my grandmother:

Six months ago when everyone kept saying: "How are you dealing... you know, with the break-up?"

Four months ago when things started to get better:

And now... well... now... this song is so so me now...(THIS SONG BLOWS MY MIND)

Ok. So we need to talk. Now, we all know my sweet fondness towards Sex and the City, right? I'm sure you do. But, lately--and this is so tough to admit--something has been, um, sort of replacing that affection.

Stop booing.

Samantha, Who? Know it. Don't? Here:

But this isn't about how I have a new show that I am in love with. This is about how I want to be a t.v. character.

I know. I know. But the thing it is somehow I always identify with certain characters on television... and, um, usually they are...well... the main characters. You know, I thought I was Zack from Saved By the Bell when I was in middle school. Then it was Brandon Walsh from 90210(it was the cute hair and the writing thing that made me think I was him--my mother, thanks mom!, was so supportive with the whole buying me gallons of hair product to get my hair where I needed it) and then there was Felicity. Stop laughing. Then there was Dawson. Stop laughing. Then there was Carrie Bradshaw and now... it's Samantha on Samantha Who.

Let's pause here for a quick sec and discuss: What does this all mean?

Well, first it means I identify with stars. That's fun. Also, it means I like flashy people and like being flashy. But, what it's really about? The stories.

I like telling stories. I like writing stories. I like talking. I like listening. I like figuring things out. I'm a writer. It's what I do. It's what I live to do. And what it comes down to is the main character is always trying to figure something out while sharing their perspective. While you share your perspective you get to tell it the way you see it and feel it and know it. You get to set parts of life to music. You get to angle the camera just right so when you are doing that romantic first kiss scene, but in real life, you have lighting that makes you glow and you have shadows that make it ooze with charm. And when you're in the crying scene you get the chance to have multiple takes to perfect the sad bite lip that doesn't show insane... it shows true emotion.

And when you are a main character on t.v. you get share your story... because isn't that why we all watch t.v. and go to movies and read books and have friends and live... to share it all together?

Plus I think a television show named Byron Who? is just so damn endearing.

Huh? Huh?

Josh. Rules.

Sometimes you just fall in to the right places.

It doesn't happen often, but when it does you get this feeling that, like, ten years ago you knew to expect something good, but just didn't know what that "good" was yet. People say this when they find the love of their lives or the job of their dreams or even the apartment they've wished for. There are no worries it all just makes sense to be in that place .

That's how I feel being involved with 2nd Story.

Two years ago I joined what I thought was just going to be a writing group that involved performing and meeting cool people. And what I realized, from last Saturday, is that we are a lot more than that. It was my first year of joining the 2nd Story and Serendipity staff in the "Rebuilding Together" program. It's basically a foundation that helps underprivileged to get the maintenance on their home that they deserve. This ranges from painting to putting in new pipes to yard work. Professionals and volunteers come together turn someones home around. In the end, they have their home in a place they may have not been able to get it to on their own.

In the end, I can not tell you how in place I felt by taking part in it.
In the end, I can not tell you how seeing what others don't have put me in my place.