We’re at it again… telling stories in a gay bar. Atmosphere Bar in Andersonville(5355 N. Clark) to be exact. Yup. We’re that good. Plus, all proceeds for this event go to Seasons of Concern, an amazing charity. Visit www.storiesandwine.com for more information
[ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN UR CHICAGO FEATURES SECTION May, 2008]
You’ve got three months (if you’re lucky) to celebrate the joys of a Chicago summer. Squeezing every bit of that weather into your life might involve you doing something that tends to go unappreciated – like a good picnic. Now, I know what you’re saying: “Picnics? Really? Aren’t those a lot of work and all the same?” Nope. Much like personalities, picnics can be vastly unique. Whether you’re eco-savvy, design hound, or a true traditionalist, there are picnic accessories for every personal style.
The “Green” Picnic
Definition: You’re a tree huger sans the actual hugging of trees.
Let’s start at the core: The basket. Or in this case, try Karim Rashid’s designer 100% recycled plastic “Garbino” container (www.umbra.com, $6.50). Next, You’ll need utensils. The Earth-friendly 100% recycled adorable green plastic dish-wear made by Preserve (Whole Foods, 1000 W. North Ave., $3.99-5.99) will add a punch of color to the set-up. Avoid grass stains and relax on something naturally cozy like a blanket from Kravetgreen.com, created from post-consumer fibers and recycled products (See website for variety of price ranges).
The “Modern” Picnic
Definition: Your life mirrors that of a Dwell magazine spread – all chic design, all the time. Your basket needs to make the first statement. The Egyptian-made black Rubber Tote allows form and function to merge into an ideal picnic carrying case (Design Within Reach, 10 E. Ohio Ave., $75.00). When you’re ready to snack try the edgy five piece Zueg Flatware ($100.00), and the minimalist-inspired drinking cups by Katje Hoeltermann that keeps liquids at original temperatures ($92.00 for set of two), both available at Stitch (1723 N. Damen). You’re also going to need to keep your white wine chilled and nothing will do the job better than the stylish Built NY Tote (The Gourmet Grape Inc., 3530 N. Halsted St., $14.49-18.99). Spend the entire experience resting on a cozy and design-friendly hand weaved Tessuto throw (CB2, 3757 N., Lincoln Ave., $39.95).
The “Classic” Picnic
Definition: You’re old-school style with a Martha Stewart flair.
Plain and simple, your basket is either wicker or woven. Try the charming Bound Willow Wicker Basket (Cost Plus World Market, 1623 N. Sheffield Ave., Small-$19.99 Large-$24.99) to carry your goods. Cut your Brie in elegance using the Maple Cheese Board ($29.99) and Stainless Steel Cheese Knives ($19.99) from Pastoral (2945 N. Broadway St.). Enjoy some bubbly in the chic “Mami” champagne flutes from Alessi (611 N. State St., $21.00) and keep it fresh using the 18/10 stainless steel Anna Sparkling Champagne Stopper ($49.50, also Alessi). Set the moment upon a casual Hutton Stripe Picnic Blanket (Crate and Barrel, 646 N. Michigan Ave., $29.95).
2nd Story is really just trying to take over the world. Like Miley Cyrus. We are the Miley Cyrus of literally events. Don’t tell other people in 2nd Story I said that… they will judge me.
But 2D is our first literary magazine designed by, ahem, me and other great people. Plus, my story is published in it. You come, drink wine, get a FREE copy of the hip mag and listen to brilliant stories being told while chilling in the meat packing district(Red Kiva, 1108 W. Randolph) to be exact. Really? What else do you have going on?
visit: www.storiesandwine.com
So 2nd Story and I are like this(right now, take your fingers and cross them). We’re tight. I mean real tight. And in that comes meeting really great people that you get to become tight with too. Once a month, as someone who helps “teach” people to write for 2nd Story, I get to have three people come to my house and sip wine or drink water and listen to the stories people are working on to perform. We give pep talks and suggestions and it’s almost as good as therapy. It’s great. It’s Oprah sans the whole “I’m GOD” deal. Love you Oprah, just playing.
Anyway, last night was my last meeting with the group I have been working on since January. This was hard because a) you get so attached to your group before you have to switch them out for new people to join and b)because I got a slap in the face.
The writing, yes, the writing is amazing. These people can write… but it’s the stories. The stories! OK. I’m going to give you a quick recap of what the three people are writing about:
1) Her mother died when she was young and out of nowhere her little niece is like, “Who’s this…?” and points to the mom’s picture… because she never met her and everyone realizes the force of death.
2) A hero of mine is a parent of a brilliant five year old and tells the story about how she never wanted to be a parent and when she adopted this amazing little girl she realizes she has a much bigger purpose in the world.
3) An adorable middle age woman tells the tale of making out with Jim Morrison after he just puked.
Yah, I know. Shit.
What am I getting at here? Well, after these people left I started to think about my stories… and about my life. And panicked thinking about this: Am I boring?
I mean, stories one and two and three are insane. They are amazing. Mothers and parents and kissing a rockstar. I’m none of that! I’ve only made out with guys who are mediocre bands that usually break-apart after a month of playing at lame-name venues. And I’m not a dad… I mean, I babysit the cutest baby in the world… but I’m no dad.
PAUSE.
So, I know what you’re thinking. You thinking this: Byron, shut the “f” up. You’re not boring…
OK maybe it’s not about the boring… it’s about the things we remember and the things we want to share with others. See, I’m getting older(Stop it. I am… and I am realizing that my memory at twenty-five is not what it was at sixteen) and I only imagine as I get older the stories that I am going to want to tell are going to get a little cloudy and the details a little shifty and the nuances a little hazy. And in that moment I realized why I am a writer. Not just to tell stories but to document experiences and to share them with others so they can remember their experiences and document them and then we have about bunch of documented experiences that people can look back on while they are talking to holograms and flying in cars and say: Wow, people were awesome back then even if they didn’t have flying cars.
So maybe I’m not boring, I just need to share the stories I keep tucked away. And it’s kind of cool to figure out why you love doing what you do.
And screw it, I may not have made out with Jim Morrison, but how many people do you know have served martinis with Drag Queens lip-syncing Beyonce behind them? Yup. No so boring.
Josh and I are sitting outside at a coffee shop patio. We have our computers and have our feet up on chairs basking in the sun.
As we do this cars on the street next to us zip by and slow down at the Stop sign to merge on to upcoming traffic. These people have their car windows open. These people are listening to music as they drive.I can hear just pieces of each song as they turn… it’s like a remix. This is awesome.
Car 1: Red Toyota Corolla, Older woman with large sunglasses playing Roxette, “Dangerous”
Car 2: White Honda Civic, Younger guy with backwards hat playing JZ, “Big Pimp’n”
Car 3: Green Honda Element, Young guy in mid twenties playing Britney Spears, “Gimme More”
Car 4: Black Mercedes, Older guy wearing a visor playing Frank Sinatra, “My Way”
And some how, it’s the last song “My Way” that makes me see how fricken lucky I am that I get to spend a Tuesday or a Wednesday or a Thursday or a Friday doing something like sitting outside writing on my laptop in the best city in the country on a beautiful day as my job. This is why I am not 9-5.
I have this friend that is a gay rapper. Johnny Dangerous. Know him. He’s brilliant. I’m not just saying “Holy cow he’s so great because he’s gay and he raps and he is a friend” kind of brilliant. No. I’m saying: “The man is one of the hardest and devoted workers devoted to his love of rapping” kind of brilliant. Plus, it has paid off and now he is been on Logo’s Top Ten Music Videos for the last month or so.
So, it’s an honor to even say that I have gotten to be a part of his latest single/video situation. I even make out with a girl. Sort of:
My mom is proud. I know.
But the best part about this guy is that he reminds me about stereotypes. When I was a kid, man, let me tell you what an adult gay man was supposed to be like when he was older. On second hand, just let me give you a list of examples I had only seen in movies and television:
The Bird Cage
Richard Simmons
Jack Mcfarland
Bert and Ernie
OK, the last one… it’s a stretch. But for a kid growing up in the 90′s having an “‘mo-dol”(you know, a homosexual idol) wasn’t really as popular as it is today. And so when I was young and knew I was going to get old, I thought: “Shit, I’m going to be a squealing girly-girl who wears tight jeans and will constantly be the butt of really REALLY bad jokes.”
I absolutely totally thought this.
But, man I was wrong. Because now there is a list. There is an entire list of famous gay people that young and old can identify with… and know that they aren’t going to have to be hairdressers or make-up artists or butt of bad sitcom jokes. No. We get to be ANYTHING WE WANT like gay rappers and senators and doctors and people that people can’t make fun of at all because we are great. And if I was fourteen again, this list would remind me that the stereotypes are as dumb as the people that create them. So, if you are a random gay teenager that stumbles here(sorry about all the swearing) and thinks they’ve got nothing to look up to… check out this list. Seriously. Then, compare it to mine.
Because look at this. Look. At. This. List:
Megan. You know her? No? Then what are you waiting for. Seriously. Anyway, Megan is awesome. I adore her and she inspires me. She knows this. This isn’t news. But she recently inspired me with one of her blogs. Here: This is the inspiring blog that Byron is talking about.
We are both in 2nd Story. We both perform and write and work with awesome directors and music-geniuses(I hyphened that because, um, they are totally both at the same time). And when it comes to telling stories about your life and setting them to music you start to really ask yourself: “What music is the right music.”
And we do this all the time. When we are getting married and need that perfect song as a couple. When we are first dating and need that popular song we both adore so we can think of each other wherever we are when we hear it(or, ahem, when we break-up and then cry every time you hear it in the frozen food section at the grocery store in “Muzak” form). We do it when we lose someone close to us. We do it when we are furious and need to blow steam. We pick music to live our lives right.
Now, when you are doing this while telling a story–setting scenes of your actual experiences in life– you want to make them rock and usually our music-geniuses do this… but sometimes they ask YOU what you think is the perfect song.
For most people, they may not really care. But I’m slightly obsessive compulsive control freak(hey, what can I say… I’m the oldest) and so I really take time to figure these things out.
And because, well, I thought you might be interested, I have compiled a collection of periods in my life where–if I were a biographic movie–these songs would be played. I know. I know… what’s worse is I am doing this on a Saturday night. I know.
Sixteen years ago when I discovered “I think I’m a little different…” but had to pretend I knew nothing…
Eleven years ago when I fell in love for the very first time:
This song.
Eleven years ago and one month when I felt my first broken heart:
This song.
Six years ago when I moved from Wisconsin to Chicago:
Four years ago when I lost my grandmother:
Six months ago when everyone kept saying: “How are you dealing… you know, with the break-up?”
Four months ago when things started to get better:
And now… well… now… this song is so so me now…(THIS SONG BLOWS MY MIND)
Ok. So we need to talk. Now, we all know my sweet fondness towards Sex and the City, right? I’m sure you do. But, lately–and this is so tough to admit–something has been, um, sort of replacing that affection.
Stop booing.
Samantha, Who? Know it. Don’t? Here:
But this isn’t about how I have a new show that I am in love with. This is about how I want to be a t.v. character.
I know. I know. But the thing it is somehow I always identify with certain characters on television… and, um, usually they are…well… the main characters. You know, I thought I was Zack from Saved By the Bell when I was in middle school. Then it was Brandon Walsh from 90210(it was the cute hair and the writing thing that made me think I was him–my mother, thanks mom!, was so supportive with the whole buying me gallons of hair product to get my hair where I needed it) and then there was Felicity. Stop laughing. Then there was Dawson. Stop laughing. Then there was Carrie Bradshaw and now… it’s Samantha on Samantha Who.
Let’s pause here for a quick sec and discuss: What does this all mean?
Well, first it means I identify with stars. That’s fun. Also, it means I like flashy people and like being flashy. But, what it’s really about? The stories.
I like telling stories. I like writing stories. I like talking. I like listening. I like figuring things out. I’m a writer. It’s what I do. It’s what I live to do. And what it comes down to is the main character is always trying to figure something out while sharing their perspective. While you share your perspective you get to tell it the way you see it and feel it and know it. You get to set parts of life to music. You get to angle the camera just right so when you are doing that romantic first kiss scene, but in real life, you have lighting that makes you glow and you have shadows that make it ooze with charm. And when you’re in the crying scene you get the chance to have multiple takes to perfect the sad bite lip that doesn’t show insane… it shows true emotion.
And when you are a main character on t.v. you get share your story… because isn’t that why we all watch t.v. and go to movies and read books and have friends and live… to share it all together?
Plus I think a television show named Byron Who? is just so damn endearing.
Huh? Huh?
Josh. Rules.
