So the other day I was watching Caddy Shack with a friend on channel nine Sunday afternoon movie. Yes. There were two things wrong with that sentence: Caddy Shack and the fact that I was actually watching one of those "Sunday afternoon movies". But, in my defense, we weren't so much as watching it as we were talking and just needed that background sound and, really, there is something so comforting to having Bill Murray's low drone voice talking about golf balls and a fake furry golfer trying to sabotages a golf game.

Anyway, during one of the commercials they start playing this local pet shelter/human society deal. Basically the synopsis is they show cute cats and dogs with sad lonely "I need a home" eyes and play this music that will quite literally stab you in the gut then pull out that same knife and stab yourself in each eye and then in the heart and turn the blade aggressively to the left so that you gush all your insides out.

Yeah. Like that.

Everytime, though, I see this commercial. I. SOB. I literally will drench my arm with snot because I'm crying so much .

"What's your DEAL!??!" My friend says to me trying to find the remote to make a quick channel change.

I wipe my eyes with the top of my shoulder. Turning me head and laughing trying not to show my red eyes.

"Dude, everytime I see this commercial... and that music..." I start to choke again and cry some more. At this point a sad puppy dog is panting and the voice over is saying we need to do something fast before we lose this puppy and others.

"You're so lame." He says turning the channel to some cheesy MTV reality show.

And the deal is, I'm kinda lame. I'm a sensitive dude. Can I get a universal "DUH" here from you all? I'm sure that's pretty obvious. But it's funny how the simplest things can make me lose my cool. We all have it. It's that one scene in a movie or part in a favorite song or that place in a book that just shakes you to the core. You literally lose your shit and it never gets old. You can hear or see it a million times and it's all the same: Waterworks.

Because I am a good guy who likes to entertain you all... I have compiled those things, no matter when, that make me sob. Even after the sixty-ish time of seeing it, you will see me wiping my eyes are whimpering much like an old woman that just lost one of her millions of cats... oh my God.... that's so sad too!

Maybe it's because I am a hopeless romantic. Maybe it's because it's because I'm just weak. Or maybe it's because I am the softest guy in the world.

On a scale of "Byron loses his shit" scale, this one is a 5 out of 5:

This one is a 4 out of 5:

This is a 3 out of 5(The song, not the video. Mostly because I imagine it being my wedding song... good GOD I'm giving away all my cards aren't I?).

A 7 out of 5 (Seriously, if you haven't seen this movie you won't even know... but Crash blows my mind everytime I watch it... especially this one scene):