One of my favorite customers came in to my bar the other night... with his tarot cards.

Pause.
Mixed feelings. That's what so many people have about this sort of thing. Right? I have one friend, who while was taking a sip of his red wine at a bar we were drinking at a couple months ago, whipped the glass away from his lips shook his head and choked out: "No. NEVER. I never have those done."

"Why?" I ask taking a sip of my drink and waiting to hear some sort of long winded answer.

"Because it changes the way you see things." He says while shaking his head and placing a cigarette to his thin lips to smoke outside.

I have another good friend who, when she was younger, was told by a card reader she was never going to be able to have kids. Now that she's got a cute baby and knows she can, it's funny. Another friend LIVES by them. Her aunt, a self-proclaimed tarot-card-ologist, reads her cards every birthday and half birthday. This friend will tell me things like: " I don't think I should do that because it would be veering away from my path." Yes, she will say things like that while we are in line to get coffee or if we are trying to pick out a type of bread to eat.

I, well, I'm still up in the air.

"So, shuffle the deck as much as you'd like." My customer says to me in between making drinks and wiping up condensation rings off the bar counter. "Think of questions you may want to ask." He takes a swig of his beer and concentrates on my hand movements with the cards.

I've always been the type to ask questions. I'm a writer. It's what we do. But how much of the certain questions we ask, do we want to know the answers too?

My customer begins to slowly pull each card one by one building a pile of the cards that are supposed to be defining me in certain periods of my life. They are illustrated with details images of men holding swords and woman raising their hands to their foreheads as if they are about to pass out.

"This card signifies who you are as a whole..."

Especially lately, I've had a lot of questions I would like answers to. We all do. What kind of person would we be if we didn't ask why we're here or what we should be doing with our lives. Which, at twenty-five, is something that seems to be popping in to my head more and more. With recent things like having my aunt diagnosed with a disease and going through a break-up and trying to figure out exactly what place I belong in when it comes to what I want to accomplish in my life. These questions seem to always stay the same and the answers always seem to change.

"This card will tell you how you should deal with your creativity..."

And it seems to always come back to the break-up. Doesn't it always. Where do you go now? When will it be easier to think about? When you thought you had all the answers something changes: Dates in a calendar, seasons, what makes you happy and what makes you sad. Maybe having someone tell you exactly what to expect will take one worry away. Maybe it's easier just to have all the answers handed to you while you are pouring someone a vodka and soda... instead of having to think of your own ways.

"This card tells you about your future love life..."

Or maybe it's more fun to just let it be. Sometimes knowing all the answers to everything ruins the mystery. Remember finding out about Santa or the Tooth Fairy? Remember when you first realized you weren't a kid anymore? Remember when that one person that you felt every part of you belonged with finally told you that they didn't feel the same?

Sometimes answers, like our future, are just things we should learn on our own... and not cheat to get.