Hi. Guys? My name is Byron and I shop at your store all the time. I'm that guy that gets the salad and sometimes the soup and the pretzel roll(GOD THOSE ROCK!) and bananas. Remember me? OK. Didn't think so.

We still need to chat, though.

There's this whole new trend called "Green" that we are all raving about. Now, with you working at an all organic place, I totally respect your avid and almost hippie approach to shopping bags. What do I mean, you ask? OK. See, I'm just going to come out and say it: Do they train you to be shopping bag Nazi's?

"That will be $10.55, please" Says one of your cute sales associates that looks like the hippie version of Natalie Portman with dark hair in braids. "You don't need a bag, right?"She gives me one of those scrunchy faces and head nod "no" to try to brainwash me in to agreeing with her.

I stare at my pile of things. I don't have a backpack and I am stopping at a few other stores on the way home and don't really need the Walgreen's clerk to see that I use a multivitamin from Wholefoods and not from him. So...

"Yes, actually, I would like one." I say politely with a charming smile.

And with a big sigh, your co-worker cute hippie Natalie Portman look-a-like sighs and whips open a bag. A sigh that was totally filled with "You just killed a tree for personal convenience, so I hope you're happy".

I'd like to say to you guys that this was a one time situation. But that would be lying. Because I shop with you guys often and quite honestly almost every visit and no matter who is ringing me up, I STILL get the weird "I can't believe you're using a bag for this!" judgment face.

I want you to totally know that I get where you're coming from. I mean, people use bags for everything. Then they get home and throw them out. But that's not me! I save them. I use them as garbage bags(instead of using plastic that, um, never decomposes!!!!!) or I use them to give things back to others that I may have borrowed. OR I reuse them again and bring them to the store with me when I am prepared to go to the grocery store. I don't plan my day minute for minute... so sometimes this isn't the case and I am going to need a bag to carry my stuff home in. I mean... I mean... I know people are all wasteful and bad to the Earth. But I'm the good guy! I use natural cleaning products! I carry water bottles with me until I find a recycle can! I turn lights off when I'm not in the room! I walk everywhere or take public transportation! I don't use Aqua Net aerosol hairspray(!!!!!). GEEZ! I started K.S.E. in fifth grade(That stands for Kids Saving Earth!). I was the president of the club. I have "SAVE THE EARTH" in my blood!

But sometimes I just need a bag sans the Nazi tree-hugging GUILT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, again, we don't know each other so I'm not going to get all in your faces at the grocery store because then I would be that crazy guy that likes your pretzel rolls too much(ADORE THEM!). But I do want it to be known that I shouldn't feel like I'm asking for you to wrap perfect Tiffany bows around every one of my purchases when I say "Yes" to needing a bag.

But, Whole Foods Check-Out People, I do want you to know this: You may be stingy with your bags. You may give me a guilt complex. You may even be hippies. But, damn, you kids are stylish. I don't think I've seen a bad outfit at your store yet.

Friends?
Friends.