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11. 7.08 Don't "F" with a writer.

A boy, probably ten, was reading my laptop over my shoulder at the coffee shop I was working at while his grandpa was in line for his Cappuccino. I wasn't for sure about him reading over my shoulder, but I did hear some of my words I was typing being quietly whispered out loud. When I'd turn over my shoulder I would see him looking at my screen and then looking at me and then a huge ten year old smile.

I like kids. I love kids. I want kids. Kids are great. But kids that are not great are ten year old boys that don't know that they shouldn't read over the shoulder over a twenty-six year old that is trying to write a story that uses the "F" word in it. Not that he saw the "F" word, but I should be able to type the "F" word in public if I want to type the "F" word. It's my right. I'm totally allowed to drop the "F". "F! F! F! F!" SEE!

So instead of just ignoring it or, of course, being an adult and turning around and saying something along the lines of: "Hi, you should be more polite and not read other people's business." I instead opened a new word document and in big bold letters wrote:

"YO, KID BEHIND ME... YEAH, YOU IN THE RED SWEATSHIRT READING THIS AS I TYPE IT. STOP BEING A BRAT. YOU'RE BEING RUDE.

He stopped. I could tell this because he looked at me when I turned around and as I smiled he slinked back towards his grandpa's side and didn't turn as he left nervously drinking his hot cocoa.


Comments

+ ashleigh says...

HAHAHAHAHHA...that's all...just. perfect.

+ Dharmamama says...

Awww... maybe you could have just given him the information? "It's rude to read over someone's shoulder."

Sorry, I have a weak spot for ten-year-old boys - I had one six years ago and will have another come February.

Did I word that right? I have two sons - one almost sixteen, one almost ten. phew.

+ ByronAuthor Profile Page says...

Something tells me though, Dharmamama, that your sons wouldn't be like that. I think your kids would totally know better. I just feel it.

+ Josh says...

Next up, Byron takes on the sensitive topic of talking to a 13-year-old about the birds and the bees.

"YO, KID WHO WANTS TO MESS AROUND...YEAH, YOU IN THE BROWN CORDS! USE A CONDOM! DON'T BE AN IDIOT? GOT IT? GOOD."

+ ByronAuthor Profile Page says...

OK! OK! I wasn't the most mature. BUT HEY! I didn't really know what else to do! I hate talking to parents... they get so defensive!!! I just wanted him to not do it. I'm sorry. I'll never do it again!!! I love kids!!

+ Chuck says...

I thought your response was perfect.

+ Nora says...

I don't blame you. Good for you! I actually laughed when reading this. I didn't think for one second you didn't like kids!

+ Chuck says...

Dude, that's harsh. Even I think so and I'm a pure-dee bitch on wheels. What's that saying about "two wrongs..." again?

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