It started with this:

Aside from the fact that Charlize Theron looks fricken hot and that this commercial could possibly turn this gay guy in to a drooling straight dude, when I first saw it I couldn't figure out the song in the background. It was sexy like the commercial. It was old school like sexy music should be. After seeing the commercial a billion times in between the marathon of cable watching I indulged in this past weekend, I became obsessed with the song.

Google, of course, gave me the answer: Marvin Gaye's " Funky Space Reincarnation".

I found it and downloaded it.

Then tonight (while scrubbing my bathtub and cleaning the corners of my bathroom-- the luxurious life of this single guy) I was listening to the song a bit more closely.

"two thousand and seventy three , two thousand and eighty four , two thousand and ninety three , light years ahead you and me gone be getting down on a space bed.....we gone get married in June....we gonna be getting down on the moon, light years interplanetary forms on the get down star wars interplanetary funk......still getting down ......music won't have no race only face... peaceful face.... all the time on this trip stuck inside my mothership."

"Two thousand and seventy three? TWO THOUSAND AND SEVENTY THREE? How old will... I'll be ninety one. NINETY ONE!" I screamed to myself with a wet sponge in my hand.

I don't know if it was the fumes from my organic green-friendly bathtub cleaner or if I was just light headed from the three cups of coffee I had had on an empty stomach, but I started thinking how it's going to be two thousand and nine in, like, a month. A MONTH! Then what comes after two-thousand and nine? Yes, two thousand ten.

And then, just like that, it's two thousand and seventy three and I'm ninety one.

Byron, get to your point, right? My point IS sometimes we get so distracted. Like, OK, how I got distracted by how hot Theron looks in that video to not really notice the song at first. Then how I was just attracted to sound of the song and then how it took me to scrub the bathtub on a Tuesday night to hear the words. Then after I heard the words and thought about being ninety one, I couldn't help but think: Slow. DOWN.

You wouldn't believe the conversations I've been having with some of my friends and family lately. Everyone wants everything right now. Not just stuff, but feelings and enlightenment and answers. I'm just as guilty. I'm all over the place trying to accomplish this or feel that.

But it goes like this: When I was eight, I wanted to drive. When I could drive at sixteen, I wanted to move out. When I moved out at eighteen, I wanted to be able to drink. We think older means more.

But this evening, on the coolness of my bathroom tile, I just wanted to be twenty-six. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Like the sexy beat of Gaye's song, I just need to learn how slow. it. all. down.