I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it right now. I'm totally going to totally do it.

I'm about to admit something that, every time I think about it, makes me bust in glee.

I. LOVE. Felicity.

Yes. The television show.

O.K. Here's the deal.

When I was in high school, I wasn't gay. O.K. I was gay, but I wasn't gaaaaay. As in, well, I wasn't officially gay to anyone else. So, at that time, I thought I couldn't be who I am today. You know, the guy that finally understands he can like things that he likes and not worry that it might be too gay to like a certain something ( See: Alanis Morissette, over-priced grooming products, crying to Love Actually, Felicity). See, Felicity was one of those shows that all the girls were always talking about. The whole "That's who I'm going to be when I'm in college." kind of discussion.

In case you don't know what Felictiy is, here is a fifteen second explanation: Felicity is a timid frizzy haired girl who has overbearing parents that want her to be a doctor. On high school graduation day she gets the nerve to talk to the gorgeous guy that she's had a crush on for the entire four years of high school. He tells her he is going to New York. She decides(on a whim) that maybe she should follow him instead of her parent's dreams and ends up in New York with her parents hating her and discovering that the guy that charmed her in to going to that college actually has a girlfriend and doesn't remember that particular moment that changed Felicity's life. That leads to Noel, who is her R.A. He's the adorable goofy type that adores Felicity. Enter love triangle. Entire growing pains. Enter drama. Enter AMAZING SHOW!

OK. So now you know. Here's the deal. I'm obsessed.

Not only is it great writing, it's just visually stunning. See the other thing you may not know is that Felicity has this friend that she sends cassette tapes to (Hey! It's the 90's) and her friend's name is Sally... and they say the most beautiful things to each other and my eyes constantly well up when I watch this show and it makes me happy and it makes me want to become wiser and it makes me want to be less angry and frustrated and more evolved and educated and it makes me want to go to college again.

OK. There. I said it.

This show makes me want to go back to school.

I haven't thought about that in awhile. But particular circumstances have been leading me to new ideas. I'm terrified. And much like Felicity, I don't know if it's the right road to take... going back to get a masters... struggling... working hard... but sometimes you never know until you do it.

If it's not going back to school... it may be traveling abroad to teach for a bit. I need to be challenged. I need to not feel like I am following a path. Lately, I feel like something needs to terrify me to remind me of me. Maybe I need to find something that scares not to feel so lost.

Sometimes art imitates life. Sometimes life imitates Felicity.