It's funny because Facebook is one of those things that you think "oh, I'll totally put this on Facebook and everyone will see it and then we'll move on to..." and then I go: Oh, wait, some people actually do ignore Facebook in their every day lives and don't get to see half the things I post there. Not that I'm saying I'm all important and that you should know what I'm posting on Facebook every three seconds or that you're even missing out on anything that good on Facebook. I'm not that important. God, I'm not important at all. I'm just talking about Facebook here.
Anyway, there are these "tag" things people can do. Basically, if you're tagged you fill out these surveys and then post it and everyone can read it and the world continues to madly, you know, move on.
But one has been super popular. It basically goes like this: List twenty-five unknown facts about you... only twenty-five. Now, many people probably got this done in, like, six seconds, right? You know, just randomly slapped some stuff down about their first dog or how much they hate filling out surveys, but because I'm a... well... let's just call it what it is, a dork, I took a lot of time on this. There were reasons a) I didn't want to spill all the beans about me b) I wanted it to be interesting and c) twenty-five things that define you... well, that's just tough. But I did it... and now you know more about me than you knew before. Is that possible with a blog? Is that possible when you are constantly spilling everything to everyone... even people you don't know read this? Hi, strangers!
The answer: Yes. Why. Yes. It. Is. (And the funny thing is, if I were going on a date... this would be, like, valid password worthy information that would win me over... I like people who cheat on tests. Consider this the answer book.)
In case you're interested, here's the list:
1.I was named after a M.A.S.H. actor, B.J. Honeycutt. My parents loved the name B.J. and were content leaving my name initials until my grandma said she refused to have a grandson named after letters. So my parents randomly selected my name from a baby book. I was not named after a poet, though, in college I told everyone I was. I also DESPISE anyone that mocks what my initials can also stand for. I get it: Blow job. Ha. Try hearing that joke almost fifteen years of your life.
2. I was given a stuffed dog named Henry the day I was born. I still have him. He's twenty- six-years-old and is the only thing in my life that has followed me wherever I have gone.
3. I use to be a vegetarian for seven years. Then I got mono. My doctor called me an idiot (literally). My ex-boyfriend introduced me to Chicken, again. Two months later I was eating burgers. I wouldn't go back if I could.
4. I have never gotten a cavity in my life. This is why I actually enjoy going to the dentist. This is also why I am strangely obsessed with my teeth.
5. Valentine's Day is and always will be my favorite holiday. It's because a) I love getting mail b) the idea that you get to be gushy on an actual day for fun blows me away c) I always liked it when boys had to give other boys Valentine's in grade school. Such a progressive holiday. If you do not like this holiday, do not tell me. Humor me. I get it, it's a Hallmark made-up holiday. But when you think about it, so is Christmas.
6. I will dance at any wedding. Any. I will make a spectacle because that, truly, is the only reason why I will go to a wedding. I want to dance with your entire family and then request "Crazy in Love" to dance to alone. It's my thing. Let it go. This, though, makes me an amazing wedding date.
7. I am the biggest procrastinator, but only produce my best work when I am under pressure. This is the reason why I already have a few gray hairs at twenty-six. I also think salt and pepper is sexy on a guy and that is why I am OK with this.
8. If you ask me out or flirt with me via text message, you will not get a date. Period.
9. I will NEVER date anyone with my brother's name, Brandon. It's weird.
10. I grew up on a street with my brother as the only other boy and ten other girls. This may explain a few things... such as why I know an entire dance routine to Tiffany's " I think We're Alone Now".
11. I'm an easy crier, though, I will hide and pretend I'm not crying for as long as I possibly can. I've also been told I am too sensitive for my own good.
12. I can be one of the gayest dudes one second and one of the toughest men the next. This surprises people every time they see it.
13. Currently my hobbies and career and passions are the same: byronflitsch.com , boysfromjupiter.com , storiesandwine.com ,UR Chicago Magazine
14. I have three dream careers and all three of them involve being famous: A rock star, a travel show host, a famous writer.
15. I am sickly obsessed with paper, notebooks, envelopes, fonts, colors, stationary, and journals.
16. I have almost fifty filled journals in a box in the back of my closet. They started when I was eleven and are still being collected.
17. I can sing to every Alanis Morissette song from Jagged Little Pill. Word. For. Word.
18. I can also perfectly quote lines from Home Alone, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Strangers With Candy, and Sex and the City. Go ahead, try me.
19. It is my plan to hit every continent before 30. That includes Antarctica. I've done four already.
20. I will try anything twice. I never regret this.
21. I repeatedly have moments where I wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, look around my apartment and realize: Holy shit, I'm an adult... I pay my own money for all of this. This is really cool.
22. I also have these moments where I realize how lucky I am to have the people I have in my life, the opportunities I have been given, and the time I am able to be healthy... if I ever lose this ability to have these realizations, I don't want to live anymore.
23. I don't have a religion yet. I think all of them seem nice. When I say this to some people they smile. When I say this to other people... they seem nervous. I like it when people get nervous from things I am confident about.
24. Hemingway, Kafka, Orwell and Steinbeck changed the way I looked at writing for the rest of my life.
25. I want the picket fence (Well, more like a Dwell Magazine modern glass enclosure with floor to ceiling windows and eco-friendly interiors, but still with the whole husband/1.5 kids/perfect dog thing)... I just don't want it right now.